FALSE FRIENDS...FAKE FRIENDS...
“As I continue to grow in my journey, it has been bought to my attention that there is deceptive energy around me & I’m not quite done shedding friends/associates.
What is your advice on navigating this? As it has also been bought to my attention that I have to be open to new places & people. Naturally, praying & discernment would be my first thought; but I also know that I overthink & I have a feeling it’s someone least expected & close to me. I want to make this transition as seamless as possible, assuming the Lord says the same!”
Anonymous Female, Texas
Peace and Blessings,
Thank you for allowing me to chime in on this dilemma. I appreciate your willingness to accept advice. I want to first start off by saying realization and clarity of your situation was/is a good start. When we have clarity-we are easily guided by our thoughts, intuition, even GoD. You are growing. The next step is acceptance of what you do know. I feel the acceptance part has been a little difficult for you, because of this, the changes around this feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is okay, because discomfort means: MAKE A CHANGE. Take some time and allow yourself to accept what you know-the clarity, you can do this by trusting in your discernment a bit more-specifically: not having true friends around you. Then think about what you do deserve: loyal and true friends. Having this is not a request it is a necessity-like we need water to survive. Begin to shift your thinking to having this energy of true and loyal friends as a NEED, not a want or a luxury-it is deserved and needed.
Then you begin making room for new people, new friends and experiences by no longer making room for the ones you know aren’t your friends. Making room means no longer holding space mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically for people who do not mean you well. This is easier said than done, I know. Some good habits to begin when you are making more room for positive changes, is not falling into old habits that may have placed you around these people who wished, caused or were just harmful to you. These old habits also include sharing mutual friends and/or even visiting places that these relationships once co-existed (just for now)to clear the space, clear the energy. This also means allowing yourself to be less available to all interactions-even a text. This is a method you can also use for anyone else you feel may be wrong for you (not really a friend). However, the idea is to not get too wrapped into this energy-of who else, who might be and/or who is. This will not change anything…this kind of energy will self-sabotage and steer you from your goals/daily tasks. Acknowledge it and move forward-the truth always prevails. In addition to, practice daily self-check in(s) and ensure you are not operating yourself or navigating your day off other people’s energy. A self-check consists of a self-talk: how do you feel today? And if anything is off…ask why and truly be truthful to yourself.
Lastly, I want to say open and kindhearted people -should not fear anyone who is doing wrong by them. Do not let even the idea hold mental or emotional space. Protect yourself by keeping what means the most to you, close to your heart-you don’t have to speak all your business to have close friends. Real friends don’t need to know it all to be a friend. You must navigate all your relationships in life based on who you are-and what you need-those that are real to you, will still be there. Yes, we have to watch for false friends-but we first we must be concern with ourselves.
Psalm 12:2 Everyone lies to their neighbor; they flatter with their lips but harbor deception in their hearts. Their words say one thing and their heart says another.
When we are in tune to ourselves, it’s easier to listen to the hearts of others.
I pray this helps!